A morceau ( in 5 acts though )
Act 1 Sometime last month:
An Autumn night, gorgeous weather , swirling wind gently blowing multi colored leaves along the sidewalk. Starbucks, the aroma of coffee in the air , laughter ,giggling ,music, people yakking on their phones.
In the corner the intrepid hero of our story ( that would be me ) sheepishly looks around and pulls out his phone, quickly starts up some music and hides it back in his pocket; furtive glances did anyone notice? Two tables away a sharp indrawn breath , an immaculately coiffured women can scarcely believe her eyes!! She leans over and tells her friend who looks at me with shock and disgust which then turn to gentle pity.
For you see gentle reader it is Nov 2010 and I am still carrying an iPhone 3.0, not 4.0 or even 3gs but 3.0 and this is Seattle where the baristas at Starbucks have opinions about WEP and WPA-PSK2.
I take a deep breath, NO MORE !!!!, enough of living like an outcast. Head over to the ATT store. Yeah we have “IT” in stock the clerk grunts. Great hook me up then
A harp plays in the background as angels lift me up and a warm glow of goodness all the way from Cupertino envelopes me , I am in the Jobs cocoon where all is right with the world .
6 phone calls later, to tell everyone I am now a fully functional member of the human race, I am struck by an odd co-incidence, almost no one I called seemed to be able to hear me very well , also two of the calls sort of dropped on me and in one case the phone just hung and required a reboot ( you heard me Scotty Reboot the iPhone now ). Clearly AT&T sucked !!!! god why they couldn’t get their act together was beyond me I mean just look at the super human goodness of APPL. I am cheered and I rejoice in the shadow of my Sheppard though the valley of AT&T
Act 2 THREE WEEKS LATER:
Winter. Cold. Harsh. Grief. Leaves Dead. Rain. Coffee Bitter. MY LORD! MY LORD! WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME , for my god is a bitter vengeful god and the iPhone 4.0 is a joke of cosmic proportions.
Act 3: Elsewhere in the Universe :
Free Windows phones for the borg collective. It’s all they can talk about . a prototypical user using a prototype starts telling everyone on FB how extraordinary the Win Phone is . I am sorely tempted( also apps get written in Silver light as opposed to hahahahaha Objective C ). Plus the fact that I cant talk to anyone on the phone makes it a little hard to keep calling it a phone
Act 4: So you see I still own some MSFT stock
Same Store. Returning the godmobile. Clerk grunts a little . Samsung Focus? Thank you . the clerk takes my iPhone away , some embarrassment ensues when I refuse to let go and he has to start tugging at it. Since I am holding it around my groin area this excites some comment “ Look Mommy they are playing the game that Father Tim used to play with me “. Finally weeping gentle tears that run down to the floor and into the pacific sound I take the focus and leave. Make phone call , OMG crystal clear phone quality.
Act 5 Er so V3 is due when now ?
In the distance walking into the sunset our intrepid hero awaits ( not sure whether the iPhone 5 or Win phone 2.0 )
No comments:
Post a Comment