Chapter 2 : Iran
The Story so far
Blonde Was amazed at the quality of Dawlish’s intel. How the hell had the old man figured out Iran. Security had been air tight . Who the hell could have talked ? Dawlish was droning on in the background about “procedural violations” and “breaches in the code of conduct “.
Blonde took a deep breath, his legendary powers of concentration coming to the fore
“There is just one thing Home Secretary”
“Cant it wait 007 I am just moving to the alliterative crescendo of my denunciation now “
“Sadly no , I fear I have found the fatal flaw in your argument about Iran “
“Really” ? “Oh yes most certainly”, “Are you sure 007”.” I think so Dawlish” “Well I cant wait to hear it then” “I was never in Iran last year”
The phone rang , it was the Imperial March from Star wars of course. Blonde was mildly interested at the coincidence , it was his habit to play this at his flat just before he undressed for the ladies.
“M here, I see hmm are you sure , this has been verified. Very well ”
“Gentleman an international crisis of incredible proportions has arisen , I fear this review will have to wait , Blonde your country needs you again “
“Blonde!”
“BLONDE !!!!”
“Oh sorry chief I was thinking about the time when Princess Leia… er never mind”
“What is the crisis dear lady” Lord Dawlish croaked
M took a deep breath . “ 14 hours Samsung and PSY ( gangnam style) and some other unknown entities successfully lobbied the govt of South Korea to retaliate for the whole rectangular button thing. The Koreans have now copyrighted and patented the use of the word baby in a pop song. While no confirmation exists there a strong rumor that the North Koreans are planning to retaliate against South Korea for thinking of this first by copyrighting about 50% of all rap video finger gestures or all of sign language no one is sure which yet “
Blonde smiled his incredibly lazy languid yet strangely attractive smile. “You find this funny 007” Lord D snapped angrily.
“Well clearly the North Koreans don’t understand what retaliation means now do they” Blonde chortled
“That may well be 007” M said “ but have you considered the scope of this tragedy, if the South Koreans win this lawsuit it will be the end of civilization as we know it !!!!”
“oh come now chief isn't that a little..”
“The end I say , have you seen the modifications to the Brittany Spears song , that the Koreans have proposed “
Oh “person aged less than 5” “person aged less than 5”
Oh “person aged less than 5” “person aged less than 5”
Oh “person aged less than 5” “person aged less than 5”
Oh “person aged less than 5” “person aged less than 5”
How was I supposed to know
That somethin' wasn't right here
Oh “person aged less than 5” “person aged less than 5”
I shouldn't have let you go
And now you're right out of sight yeah
Lord Dawlish staggered to pour himself a drink, “Blonde you must fix this “
“How”
“M?”
M sighed “ He’s right you know 007 you need to fix this “
“Yes but How”
“The key of course is Apple , or samsung or PSY or the WTO hearing next week in Doha”
“Where do you think you should start ?”
Blonde thought hard and long
“I am going to start in Brazil” he announced
“But but but …”
“Precisely Lord D , you are smarter than I thought , it is about butts after all “ I am a guest judge at the http://www.missbumbumbrasil.com.br/candidatas/
Next Time “ Brazil”
