Todd Starnes is an asswipe and that’s OK

There is a parallel universe (in the sense however that it is the same one as mine) where beauty Pageant type things keep happening with monotonous regularity (and hilarity). For those (who rightfully) have no clue about this world,  recently someone called Nina Davuluri  won the Miss America thingy and a bunch of Americans got to show the world  why

• Twitter will never make any money
• they should never breed and produce offspring
• how cruel evolution is
• why geography and fiction are interchangeable in the minds of many
• some idiots think how Ms. Davuluri is not “American” enough

Todd Starnes  (some sort of moron on fox in some way) on the other hand is unlikely to be as completely ignorant . And predictably Indians hither and thither have all gone on and on about how ghastly racist and self-centered and ignorant the Americans are.

At this point we take a little detour in my tale before I may end up making a point (Editor’s Note: You don't get paid unless you make a point, you do know that yes)

So way back in 2002 ( ish )  I was in  a meeting at MSFT. Present were about 7 to 10 people and like many meetings at MSFT they were all Indians.

So naturally this struck me as funny, and I cleverly made some spectacularly witty quip ( as I often do ) about everyone being an Indian . After the laughter and applause died down, one of the people in the meeting cleared her throat and with considerable vim and vigour pointed out the she was an American, thank you very much!!!! (I think she was born in jersey and yes even though snookie has ruined it all, to be fair yes jersey is technically American)

<Back to the present now yes, yes almost certain to make a point now >

As such the story has no meaning to it (one person did not find something I said funny, it’s not like I am keeping score or anything hahaha) on the other hand it has always stuck with me and even though I am hardly the first person to realize and point this out, all it means to be an American is to want it and say it . That's it!!! (ok fine immigration will get involved once in a while, yes ok more than once in a while, yes fine a lot !!  ) which if you think about is just amazing. I am not aware of any other country where this happens. You can stay in India as long as you want as a white person but you will be gently laughed of the stage (while some kindly stranger calls the local asylum) if you start insisting you are Indian.
I am fairly certain my chances of being Japanese or Chinese or Papua New Guinean are slim to none irrespective of how long I stay there or how much I integrate into their societies . Every once in a while it behooves us to marvel at this sociological thing this amazing amazing fact of life about the US.

Nina Davuluri would be hard pressed to be Miss <insert country here > anywhere except the US. It could happen once in a while I suppose but in this case I am genuinely not surprised, Ms. Davuluri is an American and she convinced some people she was best qualified for a competition. That's all there is to it.

Rather than bemoan the twitter chatter from people clearly stuck in Darwin’s waiting room we should be really happy that here in this country something like this is possible. I have zero interest in pageants and yet I find this pretty uplifting all in all

As for Mr.  Starnes and his ilk, ironically by insisting there is an archetype for “Americans” (cough Christian and white ), they are in fact being the very thing the oppose viz completely Un American

Besides this is nothing new, a 100 odd years ago people like him were screaming “the Irish need not apply” or “who wants these damn Italians” and so on and so forth. Asswipes will be around forever and you know what that’s ok asses need wiping after all !