STANDARD DISCLAIMER

Everything in this blog is my opinion and does not in any way, shape, or form represent the opinion or officially stated position of Microsoft, Google , or Kim Jong Il
this is fairly obvious when one considers I have no official capacity in any of these organizations.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

10 step plan to lose weight ( guaranteed or your money donated to a charity of my choosing)

At the start of this year I weighed about 273 pounds currently I have lost about 50 ish pounds ( which still makes me pretty fat ) but its been an interesting journey and I thought I’d condense everything I’ve learnt into 10 simple rules if you will( I just love giving back to the community don't you know )

< Editor’s Note : Some of these steps at first glance , or even the 1000th , seem unrelated to weight loss. Mr Chandran has assured us that we are entitled to our point of view.>

1) Donate your remote control to Goodwill

2) Eat your soup with chopsticks

3) Attempt to convince the patent office to patent of your latest invention , a bridge that goes half way across a river and then turns back making a giant horseshoe for people who tend to change their mind a lot.

4) Attempt step 3 only this time on the phone---using sign language

5) Learn mandarin from a Cantonese speaking instructor

6) Use the X box as a pair of dumbells

7) Watch the movie “Memento” backwards

8) Drink only between the hours of 09:00 to 08:00 hrs. Use the remaining hour wisely

9) Try and convince the IRS that your paunch is a dependant deduction

10) Also Eat less and Run more . Also.

1 comment:

sancho said...

Lose!!!!!