So Teachers day eh !

[Editors note: The Author is somewhat er um youth challenged and as such all of his memories harken to an era and age prior to the internets and what not , things may have changed somewhat . The author is not optimistic though ]
It's teachers day <traditional assorted salutations and congratulatory observances here>

I have to say during school ( std I - X ) I can count on my fingers the number of teachers who I have any respect for whatsoever .

Most of them sucked ass at their jobs with zero interest in teaching ( the bishops school to this day, on a per capita basis if I may, or the ratio of excellent teachers to not that great , remains leaps and bounds ahead of other institutions I have been in or heard about . It really has been in my own experience the one bright spot. Its position on corporal punishment continues to remain barbaric and outdated but you know nothing is perfect )

College (XI XII and FYBsc) its not fair to judge on my part since I attended a sum total of maybe 8 to ten lectures. Each and every one of those was an hour or so of my life I am never getting back . They all sucked uniformly

The next step in my journey of ha-ha learning was six years in Indore getting an MCA

Barring hmm 3 or four professors (over 11 semesters with six odd papers in each semester) the rest were truly abysmal like so bad that its hard to describe precisely in words how incompetent they were both at teaching and subject matter

I have often wondered how do you fix this . I have no kids so this is unlikely to directly affect me in anyway but lets say for a movement I am thinking about the general good ( yes I know I had to practice twice before I could type it with a straight face )

One obvious issue is that we are clearly ( in the past at least; I have no idea if anything has changed) attracting the wrong kinds of people to teaching .  The biggest difference between good great and lousy teachers has always been to me , very obviously, that the good ones are interested in teaching like genuinely interested they don’t see their job as anything but . Also a deep love of what they are teaching and an ability too impart a little bit of that to their students .
I have no idea what the free market solution to this is .

Currently teacher salaries suck. In general. I am going to assume this is a simple supply and demand problem . Too many teachers . And I am really not sure how you fix that

The other real issue IMO is the paying customer aka the parent has like zero insight into how awesome teachers are especially when the kids are around 13-14. First as a parent the only real metric you have are grades
If student grades were the only way to evaluate teachers it drives terrible incentives ( you teach to the test ) and also when I hit teenage I cannot imagine any scenario where I was discussing my teachers with my parents , like its not even close. No idea if kids have changed that  much today but I mean come on …

So what does the customer do then in this case?

And finally the really tough one… I have been in spite of thinking about this multiple times unable to come up with a  way to decide who good teachers are on a metric based basis.
If was a principal and I had to do performance reviews how do you even start  where teachers are concerned

There are no bottom line metrics you can measure

There are no 360 degree reviews that would make sense and peer reviews are also meaningless since teaching is not a team sport

You could solicit parental feedback but again kind of brain dead

There are no  commitments based ratings that make sense

So we are left with a very very high degree of subjectivity at the hands of the principal.

The one thing I would love to see is schools identifying great teachers and paying them extra to train incoming teachers or current teachers who are not that great but again subjectivity abounds

There is a class of profession where if you get better it means very little to anyone and so getting better will not result in any rewards for you from your customers or your boss

For example a barista who makes better coffee… no one cares Starbucks cannot set pricing around it  or salaries

A server who typically averages 10 to 12 % tips gets twice as good at his / her job sorry you are not going to magically start averaging 25% tips

A personal trainer who suddenly gets much better can raise their rates but its doesn’t line up neatly with their skill level market pressures around a variety of factors will start interfering .

even jobs where you can rewarded more as you get better ( software developer  for example ) start hitting all kinds of barriers no matter how much you keep improving

My biggest fear and sneaking suspicions is that teaching is one of those areas in a very strong way.

Where as long as you are not a total fuck up and sometimes even then , there is zero incentive for you to improve as a teacher especially if you really don’t love or hate the job, its just a job ( and don’t even get me started about teachers unions )
I have no idea how you fix that  so to sum up the kids are all totes screwed but it will probably come out ok in the end ( or not which is always the hallmark of a good drama )

The bigotry of tolerance

One of the more amusing tropes on the right is of course that Barack Obama is a Muslim. You see it all the time on various right wing websites  (which I spend way too much time on alas but that’s a diff blog post )

The left typically responds in two ways on their website either by loudly going on and on about “no way is he  Muslim he is as Christian as they they come “ or they will just link to a  piece of video\audio where a right winger calls Obama a Muslim and then let the viewer draw their conclusions about how awful the right is ( to be fair the right is pretty awful but my bias is showing )

I have always found both responses outstandingly offensive and pointless, the only correct response to “Obama is a Muslim” is of course “And So?”

and now we have something similar in the Garland Geller draw Muhammad shooting case

 

Leaving aside all the stuff about the first amendment and freedom and ISIS etc one common theme I am seeing from the so called tolerant left is the notion that “Pam Gellar has every right to do what she did but why would any decent person do this and why PROVOKE the Muslims”

As an example see this

 

This is someone who works for the NEW YORK TIMES . I honestly don’t even know where to begin when someone starts with “Free speech aside..” How would the NYT respond to the right saying stuff like

• “Rape aside ….”
• “Burglary aside redistribution feels good”
• “Global warming aside petrol is rather awesome”

This whole meme of provocation might sound like all tolerance and hugs but  is actually IMO incredibly bigoted , like very, very  insidious bigotry.

The real question “decent people” should ask is why is it assumed that Muslims will react violently to something some of them might find offensive , while it is assumed that Jews, Christians, Mormons, Hindus,  [insert your non-Muslim group here] will react to outrage by, well, acting civilized about it?

 From what I can tell just about every Muslim group here in the USA has condemned the shooting supported Ms. Gellar’s right to hold such an even and pointed out that  the cuntent ( not a typo) of f  Ms. Gellar's works and events speak for themselves

DO NOT go on and on about how it is wrong to provoke Muslims. You are not being tolerant but being deeply bigoted when you assume that Muslims have no way to react to provocation but with violence. Rejoice instead  in the ability of people to be civilized in the face of provocation .

Einstein , and the annual review

AT MSFT , like most other corporations , they have what they call a level for all employees . It is numerical thing that basically completely defines you and establishes your worth  ( yes sad I know ). Some levels however are quite special viz levels 62 64 and 67.
These are what I call the “Nope no lubricant for you today either” levels . You see 63 is a senior level 65 Principal and 68 be partner laddie.

Clearly these levels must be insanely desirable I can think of no other reason why the ( 62,64,67) folks put up with the insane BS that they have to , to get to the blessed levels .

However what is often lost in all this, is the incredible hardships the managers of the lube free levels have to put up with .
Imagine if you will,  you have a level 64 working for you . You know that   (s)he hates you for no other reason than that fact that nominally at least you are depriving him of getting to blissvana and you have to constantly keep coming with creative reasons why you are not promoting them.( you will find this story works just as well if you have a level 62/67 working for you )
Well be of good cheer manager people I will now tell you an inspirational story , that you may use as you see fit to deal with the employees who are constantly clamouring for recognition and promotions ( sometimes at the same time )

In 1905 Albert Einstein  worked as a technical assistant, level III in the patent office in Berne.
It is not very clear what exactly Einstein achieved at work during that year however in what can be only considered a remarkable achievement by Google’s 20% self improvement principle and Steve Jobs  ( what ! he is responsible for all awesomeness don’t you know ) he did manage to do some useful work outside of his immediate scope and visibility . Amongst other things Einstein authored in that one year( bolding mine )

1. Concerning an Heuristic Point of View Toward the Emission and Transformation of Light
       Explanation of the photoelectric effect with use of the quantum hypothesis of Planck. Light is a flow of corpuscular objects with definite energies - Planck's quanta of energy.
2. On the Movement of Small Particles Suspended in Stationary Liquids Required by the Molecular-Kinetic Theory of Heat.
   explained Brownian motion, the unpredictable movement of tiny particles, as a result of the molecular action hypothesized by atomic theory
3. On the Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies.
      Invention of the theory of special relativity. Beginnings of the relativistic era in physics.
4. Does the Inertia of a Body Depend upon its Energy Content?     Invention of the theory of special relativity, E = mc2. Beginnings of the relativistic era in physics

This story has a happy ending for you see in 1906 after some sort of review process, Albert Einstein was promoted to  technical assistant, level II in the  patent office . ( In later years of course he was a complete failure at the patent office never reaching level 1 and eventually quitting but why go into all that now )

So when your annoying report keeps pestering you about what they need to do , to get promoted, always remember what Einstein had to do ! ( and and remind them as well otherwise…. )

Whose Rights !!

Consider a banker oh even a florist say
A small business owner you know the kind that Indiana republicans love to worship.

Now it is possible that this business owner has not incorporated in some way ( S corp LLC what have you ) but the chances of that are oh so so rare that we can ignore it for the purposes of this argument .)

The standard right wing (and libertarian trope ) is this bullshit idea that the business owner should have rights to association blah blah blah and should be able at the end of the day to be a bigot and or a racist and refuse to serve anyone

I wholeheartedly agree, the business owner should have that right 100% absolutely

But and this is where I think a lot of arguments miss the point what about the business itself , does it have the rights to be a bigot?

Wait !!! what you say?
Come I will hide nothing from you , follow me if you will…

SCENARIO 1

A customer walks in one day slips on a piece of  a used condom ( well I guess a wet floor would be more likely though ) proceeds to go sailing through the air rather spectacularly lands on his\her ass  and discovers that real life is nothing like a cartoon and  promptly needs surgery

After consulting with a friendly attorney ( better call saul ) this customer sues!

Question : who do you think gets sued , has liability  and has to pay in the event of losing the case. That’s right kids if you guessed the business go to the front of the class

SCNEARIO 2 : The small business owner takes a business loan and then finds out there is no market whatever for naked overweight male housecleaners. Defaults on his\her loan.
This is not problem for the bank because you know they can go after the business owners personal asset\house etc

BZZZZZZ ! GO to Jail DO not pass GO DO not collect 200!!

Turns out that since the business took the loan EVEN THOUGH the small biz owner made all the decisions and boy were they some decisions , the owner has complete limited liability and can the business can ( in many cases should ) promptly declare bankruptcy and get out of the debt with nary a problem

Now to be clear Limited Liability is a very very good thing ( I say this as someone who has been sued ). But lets ask our self what this means, it means if a gay person lends ( you don’t have to be gay for this example to work BTW  ) a baker friend of his money and the baker is like “Well just make out the cheque to OverNighTunaSandwichBakery it just makes the book keeping ally nice and tidy “ , and then it turns out an overnight tuna sandwich place which does not do delivery,  typically goes broke in no time.

Why in that case the gay friend is just plain out of luck . He can keep trying to tell everyone that he lent money to a friend so he should be able to get the money back from his friend but the law will chuckle at his naivety   and refer him to the notion of limited liability

Which brings us back to “Whose rights” are we talking about exactly here

When it suits the business owner apparently its ok to say “Yeah no, I know you spoke to me , and gave me money but I mean if you think about it corporate personhood my dear fellow  so You know I am not really my business you see”

But on the other hand when it comes to not serving someone  “yeah no that’s  all me and I own my business so I damn well get to say who gets in and who gets out”

So I will make a deal with all business owners ( it should be noted that this deal is somewhat limited in scope given the legislative and executive authority I posses but still )

Your business gets to be a bigot ( sorry share in your values )with you if your assets and the business assets also get to have joint liability

As long as you keep claiming those two are separate you have given up on any right to insist your business has the right to discriminate

Its really that simple !!!

Schezwan oops Swan Lake !

The wife( blessed be her name and blessed be her works ) has been through many a subtle and some totally non subtle ways , been pointing out for a few years now that Seattle has quite the decent cultural scene and we really should go watch some ballet or something .

So finally decided, last Saturday  what they hey , you never know , broaden horizons blah blah blah and we decided to catch Swan Lake

To paraphrase Jim Hacker ( if you don’t know who that is well , I mean that is to say hmmm) it was a thoroughly enjoyable evening , great music , people desperately trying to be taller than they were on stage, delightful food , yummy bubbly , all very well dressed folks it was very cool

We did the whole box seats things only to discover that next time stick to the orchestra level . Place was really really packed had no idea this was so popular

 

 

Here are two important fact about the ballet dancers which I picked up all on my own

i) If you are a ballerina you are not allowed to have a pair of boobies. Apparently cup size is something that you don’t mention or bring up at all

ii) If you are a male ballet dancer then it is considered unacceptable to have a gluteus Maximus, instead you are obliged to posses a “GLUTEUS MAXIMUS MAXIMUS”. It is almost impossible to describe the ahem costume( s ) . Yeah no, no pics!

The other like cool thing was every once in a while you would hear something in the music you were you sure you had heard in some popular Hindi song of yesteryear , some of the musical pieces really were quite excellent

I am hesitant to say this in a public forum but yeah we probably have to do this again , had an awesome time !

Why I never! It’s tax day again

A friend of mine ( fine ex boss   ) made a claim around tax day that he thinks of corporate inversion ( a la Apple MSFT GOOG et al …) to be tax evasion

I don’t and furthermore this year really do want to try tax inversion

But leaving that aside I find this whole notion of tax evasion when legal very interesting

Unlike some on the right or the libertarian science fiction dabblers I am not anti tax just because. I am not even anti tax at all lets face it taxes get us lots of awesome things like the internet and 911 both of which have quite literally been life changing for me

However those of us on the left who accept taxes as the um tax you pay for a civil society should also be honest enough to accept that the structural way in which taxes are set up ( if there is one thing I could change it would be tax withholding ) lead to some deep misunderstandings about what we pay for and what we get and pretty much allow govt to get away with a lot of waste

In many ways tax policy is really well um more visible in the states because they cannot run a deficit or print money.Red states like Kansas and Wisconsin are doing every one a great service by providing massive tax cuts to the wealthy and slashing services to make up the deficit. There will come a point when the populace wakes up to the fact that hey what happened to all those nice things the guvmint used to do OR THEY MIGHT NOT which is great too . If a people decide they would rather not pay taxes and have bare bone services that is great too . For example I think in Topeka or Trenton some time ago the cops simply stopped taking on domestic abuse cases and responding to calls unless an eyewitness was present because you know … no money ( that’s right senator sharia law is coming though not quite how you imagined )

But and this is important if you need to raise money through increasing taxes one of the things in theory a legislature should look at is closing loopholes and or special deductions ( yes I know this rarely happens ) . However things get really out of whack if just a few people use a deduction or loophole. That way lies irrational tax policy for these loopholes are on no ones radar neither do they generate any sort of public outrage . The only way a loophole\deduction becomes untenable or worth looking at ( in terms of taking away as opposed to raising taxes on everyone ) is if lots and lots of people use that loophole

The dollar amount of your tax obligation is the end result of a myriad of policy and law. IMO it is everyone’s duty and right to use EVERY legal mean available to them to come up with the LOWEST amount possible to pay. That is one of the few few limited levers  we have as citizens to try and have some say in tax policy . if everyone does this and that means we have fewer services then good legislators will need to look at which loopholes to remove or to raise taxes or something else

Not looking at how to manage your taxes in order to pay anything more than you owe is quite silly to put it mildly!

In which we meet a MSFT Technical Fellow

The other day I was at the MSFT store ( it happens ) and I buying a phone ( see here why this actually was a good idea ).

The salesgirl ( assuming that is still the politically correct term or are we doing “economic stimulus facilitator “ now , who can tell ) was your usual bubbly, fake smile till it hurts , completely technically illiterate person( we’ll just call her Tiffany/Amber or T&A it makes things easier ) but it was’nt that bad, I knew what I wanted and there was very little um scope for her to screw anything up

Regardless T&A somehow managed to get something wrong and next thing I knew she was like “Can you wait for about five minutes,they’re getting the phone out from back”

So we waited chatted and as is often the case ( without sounding like an ass ) I had her laughing out loud ( not the emoticon the real thing) in pretty quick order

The phone arrived and it turned out getting ATT to do the right thing in terms of a discount was somewhat beyond T&A’s training . So naturally Bob or Dick or Jim or some such dude “the one somewhat technically aware fellow” ( oh so that's what Technical fellow at MSFT means eh !) was summoned with batted eyelash and heaving bosom .

Next thing I know the  MSFT technical fellow was battling furiously with the ATT website ( it was like watching gladiator with better lighting and even better music ) while me  and T&A  were still making giggleworthy small talk

At this point enter the white pasty MSFT uber geek from stage right . He walks up to us and well in about a minute establishes himself as a total asshole which really was quite impressive.

During the whole time he would like say something to t&a then look away stare at his phone etc and then he finally bought something . At this point we moved into the truly “can you actually behave like this in public” scenario

The girl asked him a series of questions (annoying ones to be sure like “Do you have an email address with us “ ) to which this guy replies in the most rude way possible without being actually rude BUT the whole fucking time the guy is like glued to his phone and typing away furiously .

Does not even look at her once; like not even close and his answers get shorter and curter till it feels like he is exclusively talking in acronyms only .
I’m watching the whole thing ( while making encouraging noises to the technical fellow)  and the girl is getting redder and redder and more upset by the second while the guy either through sheer cluelessness or pure deutschbaggery continues to treat her like a very boring piece of furniture that should be in a garage sale soon

The idiot leaves. My TF wins the battle with ATT does some sort of victory lap and leaves to fetch my phone

The girl and I are looking at each other and she is clearly so fucking pissed that she is close to tears, undoubtedly she wants to say so much but this is her job I am a total stranger and you know whatever!

I commiserate with her “They can’t be all that bad yeah”

Note to self : always be prepared that people will answer a rhetorical question

She gives me like a half smile and goes “Most are”

“I’m a person you know!  just look at me when you talk to me how hard can that be”

and she ranted for a while, boy did she rant, and it was not angry it was just fucking sad !

I got the phone and left

Like everyone else I am absolutely certain I have been guilty of prioritizing my phone screen over the person I talk to . I’ve tried very hard to be mindful of this since then ( almost definitely like every other resolution to be a better person in my life it won’t last )and have caught myself twice doing this twice since, once at the  gym ( well I was there for the Jacuzzi) with the person checking me in  and once at the bank while depositing a cheque ( in my defense in both cases someone was wrong about something on Face book and it was clearly critical that I respond instantly )

I am not even going to count how people behave around people they know,  with their phones. Its just baffling how insanely rude most of us are about this and how we just accept it . How is that damn screen more important than a real human being trying to interact with you . I am not trying to be all holier than thou here I am as guilty of this (more so probably )as everyone , but if you step back and think about it , it is pretty amazing and not exactly in a good way

Like everything else on this blog there is almost no point to be made here, but I did get to see how someone, who deals with people, who just don't even bother to hide the fact that they ( people) don’t care about said person existing or not ( or at least behave like it ) everyday actually feels about it . WAS NOT PRETTY !

er although if you are reading this on your phone please don’t stop :-)

<insert joke here to end on happy note>

Challenge Accepted !

A bunch of people on my face book feed are participating in some sort of 30 day abs challenge ( yes it sounds exactly as painful and pointless as it is ). Apparently you subject various parts of your body to all sorts of indignation and then realize the true six pack is the one that you buy at the store

But that got me thinking , a 30 challenge is not a bad idea for all sorts of obvious and non obvious reasons

SO I will be attending a 30 day hair growth challenge . Schedule for the first week is  as follows . Weeks two three and four ( plus an extra two or three days will follow )

Day 1 : Observe hair growing at every possible opportunity. Comb when required or when bored or both

Day 2 :  Shampoo hair . Use conditioner Lather and Rinse BUT DO NOT REPEAT .

Day 3:   Pick out your favourite hair . Name it . Now give it a nickname. Introduce it to at least three strangers and two friends

Day 4: Repeat Day 1  but this time pretend you do not care whether your hair grows or not . Use fake laughter to bolster your fake feelings

Day 5 : Recommend hair cuts to everyone else participating in the challenge. Deny any ulterior motive .

Day 6 : Watch TV read a book solve world hunger but don't get carried away by trying to solve world peace as well

Day 7 : Attempt to battle depression as all your hair does not grow at the same rate. Change your conditioner but half way through your shower weep inconsolably and bitterly as the changed conditioner serves as a metaphor for all impermanence and the lie that is monogamy. Switch back to the original conditioner only to realize that it is not longer as satisfying. Exit the shower trip fall but get up again. Smile at your willpower !  ( rush back into the bathroom to wear your clothes

Farewell to Arms Part Deux

We have already discussed certain cell phone specific trials and tribulations here (http://rahul-chandran.blogspot.com/2010/11/farewell-to-arms-aka-great-smart-phone.html)
But why stop now !
So anyway
Most people( as in those who are lucky enough to know me , not in the world ) either have an iPhone ( the damned and  HAHAAHAHA Safari (l)users ) or an Android phone ( witty, charming, forward looking, independent thinkers ) and a vanishingly small number have a Windows Phone ( hapless MSFT employee ) .
Without fail though everyone in each camp can easily point to something totally idiotic in the other ecosystems and awesome about their own ( Editors Note : What do you mean damned I think you meant creative )
But in the shadowy world of betwixt and between and in the cracks and edges of the normal well ordered multiverse ever so often hic sunt dracones…..( Editors Note: Oh for god’s sake dragons really !!! )
Sometime ago I switched to a Nexus ( android ) and honestly was fairly happy with , in fact very happy with it . It’s integration with the GOOG ecosystem and the Now feature all add up to a super nice experience

And then MSFT released their new phone build with inbuilt Swype and Cortana and a host of other improvements (ATT was offering a deal which when combined with the tax break us job creators are entitled to ) it was practically free
So of course I grabbed it ( Nokia 1520 size matters edition )
I loved it!! like its pretty great especially Office and a bunch of other stuff including  the screen size but…. no apps at least not the ones I want and more importantly new ones are always written for android first ( Yes I know Satya has  a plan )
But wait wait I have a nexus too . Soon I found myself doing something very interesting , I am using the Nexus as my phone ( voice ) and for apps that I must have ( primarily the Sirius XM app but also maps voice etc) and I have tethering always turned on . ( which because the Nexus was unlocked and not in cahoots with ATT , ATT seems to have no clue about , viv le revolution , absolutely ! )
The Nokia device tethers to the android device and I use it for all things Office and Netflix ( 6 inches its just awesome ) and some other MSFT stuff , also shopping at AMZN

Initially I felt like a total idiot forward thinking genius carrying two phones but now  I don't even think about it anymore.
Which brings up to the following points

• Now that I have created the road map for world peace in the Smartphone wars can I get a Nobel. In the years to come one can already see the TV pundits wisely nodding and pontificating “Well yes my dear chap two phones , don't you see it was right there staring at us the solution but it took a particular kind of genius to just go with it you know “
• If not a Nobel can I patent this in any way . Well ok I probably wasn't the first person to think of this but I mean after rounded rectangles is “first” even a thing anymore
• Can we pass legislation to make it illegal to tout your phone and or criticize someone else’s unless you own two phones ( thus it is ok and ethical and in fact required almost for me to point what a colossal joke the iPhone is )
• Barring cost the surface 3 may not be the worst idea in the world ( someone has to explain to me why a thinner surface is meaningless to the tech press but every time APPL shaves a nanometer off of a bezel or something there is a collective mulorgy ( multiple orgasmic orgy) in the tech community
• IFF they can get people to write apps for WinPhone it will stay a formidable competitor may even get to 5% or something :-) .
• In case someone does not realize it I might as well point it out Owning three phones is really stupid !

RSA NSA how do you tell the difference

So it turns out the RSA corporation was really the NSA in civvies

One of the most interesting things about the whole “the NSA knows where you live and what you think” etc has been in spite of all their vaunted technical prowess the NSA has relied almost completely on no hacking whatsoever but back doors , trapdoors, wide open doors , doors wide shut, transparent doors etc etc and of course the RSA being idiots to trawl data at the “all you can suck from our pipes” buffet

To put it another way they have relied on the age old "here let me make a copy of the key will you "
and of course corporation after corporation bent over while whispering "yes I'll take the vanilla flavored lube if you don't mind please Mr NSA agent man " .

For those who think the corporations had no choice that is garbage, look at lavabit. What do you think would have happened if GOOGLE and MSFT had shut down all services saying the govt was forcing them to break trust and faith with their customers. You really think people would be like "Well if you have nothing to hide..." ."Oh and down with Snowden"

The original sin of course was the Patriot act , and the almost comically grotesque Kafkaesque parody of 1984 it made sure we all live in . When James Sensenbrenner starts talking about how the Patriot act might have gone too far it really is time to listen

Where will all this end up , no clue ( though I would love someone to recall Diane Feinstein). It is clear on this issue the democrats are just as bad or worse than the republicans ( barring a few good men notably Senator Wyden ).

My guess is eventually corporations will bypass NSANET ( yes well I know we call it the internet for now ) for their internal communication while the public continues to get shafted and the 4th amendment slowly moves from law to history. Hopefully we’ll figure something out but apathy is and has been the NSA’s best friend ( the other is sheer stupidity also know as “See Snowden was wrong to ….” )

If a couple of big corporations whose services we all depend on start making a real fuss and service disruption maybe the masses will notice, I’ve practically given up on the telecom companies doing anything I mean they suck so bad when it comes to privacy

OR Linus Torvalds could come up with some sort of open source encryption scheme or some such :-)

MBA Case Study Part troix

 

In past case studies here and here  we looked at various aspects of business strategy. Today we will be looking at certain complicated issues around workplace ethics.

You are happily married. You are also strangely attracted to your boss culminating in regular adulterous carnal events. Because balance is important you are also having an affair with a coworker. Please answer the following (it is important to keep in mind that you are happily married) multiple choice questions

1. Who are you cheating on?
   1. Your Spouse
   2. Your wife
   3. Your co worker
   4. Yourself by not having sex with more people
   5. Other ( please describe at length, in two to three sentences )
2. Your boss is indicating that she might be getting promoted soon thereby creating a vacancy for her position. Should you
   1. Insist that she promote you , thereby making sure that your one-on-one meeting with your boss and subordinate will be very hands on
   2. Insist that she promote your coworker so that your one-on-one with your boss and your skip level can be hands on
   3. Request to be sent on a campus recruitment trip to the top 10 party colleges of the year to set a good example
   4. Refrain from saying anything , this could be a trap
   5. Other
3. Your wife is pleasantly surprised by your improved skills in bed and in conversation asks you “darling where did you learn to do that :-)”. Should you
   1. Tell her you have enrolled in an ONLINE THEORY ONLY “Improve your Cliteracy™”  course
   2. Tell her you felt it was the right thing to do in your soul because you know  love
   3. Refrain from saying anything , this could be a trap
   4. Other
4. Your wife is unpleasantly shocked by your new moves in bed and right away yells “HEY where the hell did you get the idea that was ok!!!” Should you
   1. Say Anything
   2. Other
5. Your boss is thinking about firing your coworker. Should you
   1. Plead your coworkers case so you don't have to go to the trouble of convincing her replacement to have an affair with you
   2. Say that firing is too much and ask for her to be transferred to another department and unselfishly volunteer your time to find a replacement
   3. Request to be sent on a campus recruitment trip to the top 10 party colleges of the year to set a good example
   4. Other
6. In your opinion will hiring a nanny at this point in time Add or reduce balance  in your life
7. Would it make a difference(with ref to question 6) if you had children or not
8. What in your opinion is the secret to having a happy marriage like yours
9. Are there any industry specific factors to be considered when contemplating such an arrangement ( for example if you work in gay porn it might be hard well not hard exactly but anyway …)
10. Who is worse Monsanto or Walmart ( Editor’s Note : we believe the question makes more sense when you add the phrase “or you” at the end )

 

Obamacare is here , run for the hills

Obama care is here. In theory I can buy insurance from the WA health exchange in a bit (oh we are all probably on a path to doom death despair and destruction as per the GOP)

I first lost employee funded insurance  in Jun 2009. Fun times!!!

Since then, here is what I have realized about the system as it exists! Trying to buy individual insurance and dealing with the insurance company is roughly equivalent to

Having to sit on a cactus!

A thorny cactus!!

With fire ants on it!!!

Without lubricant!!!!

Clear. Oh good. On the other hand all my gainfully employed friends (99% of whom all make oodles of money by any standard) really don't have a problem with the healthcare system as it stands pre-Obama care .

So like every other system there will be winners and losers and in the current system people like me who have not had access to employee funded HI were clearly the losers. I don’t know if the affordable care act will fix any or all or my issues with the insurance industry but you know what; I am absolutely certain it cannot get any worse. Will there be any losers because of the ACA. Of course! And you know what suck it!!!!!

Recent events with the health situation in my family have made me really think about how ridiculous the Pre ACA situation in this country was/is.

The way in which insurance companies will try and dictate the care you get,  right down to subtly and not so subtly making sure that diagnostics procedures like MRI’s etc are scarce is  downright disgusting.

For someone like me who has options it’s not the end of the world, but I really wonder how other folk manage.(I can guess and it’s not pretty).

The battle over the affordable care act and the road to even more decent outcomes for health care is really very simple:

We are the richest country in the world and some of us think it is not ok to say “there is a treatment available for what you have and if you can’t afford it suffer in silence you serf” or even worse “Your problem could have been easily detected and solved if you only had done your medical checkup in time. Oh no money?could not afford it?  yeah well then death becomes you “

This is a true story,   last year someone I knew died from colon cancer. He was 36. It is very rare in someone so young.

Fun fact : had they caught it time who knows.

Funnier fact : doctor told him to get a colonoscopy some months ago.

Totally hilarious fact: he was not too well off, in between jobs, his shitty insurance would not pay for a colonoscopy for anyone under 50.

Outstandingly ROTFLAMO fact: He could not afford what a colonoscopy would cost on his dime so he choose to risk it . 5 cards later (poker players will get it)…. suck out!!!

The Oscar for the best comedic performance fact: Obama care = death panel

Now when faced with the story above one can say

“shit happens, Blessed be the name and works of Ayn Rand”

or one could try and be a human being and think about ways to mitigate this (no Senator I agree we cannot save everyone) which involves some of us paying for others, so that in the event we ever need the help we get it ( whether it is taxes for a single payer system or a mandate where the healthy subsidize the sick in the event you ever get sick )

And finally while we are at it, this one is for all those idiots who make an excellent living , have employee funded health care , and cannot really point to anything that the affordable care act does , that will personally hurt them but FREEDOM something !!( that would be every single republican in both houses of congress)

You know what, I hope you choke on your vomit and die. I hope you your kin and the ones you love all suffer from cancer of the balls or vagina or whatever and then are told that there is a super easy treatment sadly which cannot be afforded to you because you know freedom

I hope you get a genetically mutated form of chicken pox and watch in amazement and pain as your skin peels off in agony, but you stay comforted at the thought that FREEDOM!

May your next shampoo give you all the side effects of chemo therapy without chemo and then cancer so now you can take chemo again BUT  hey good news ,  because now that you know, why you will never buy that shampoo again !

Hopelessness, dread, despair, gloom, agony, destruction, pain and suffering , may they be your eternal companions.

Oh and Have a nice day!

Debt Ceiling for Dummies(ok to read even if you are not a dummy)

So apparently 44% of Americans or some such number, are opposed to raising the debt ceiling and as always this just means on any given topic 44% of Americans don't get it (cough ios 7)

(Editor’s Note : We would appreciate it greatly if no cheesy credit card analogies were used )

So here is what is hilarious though. I’ve spoken to a few people in the last week or so, people who otherwise can be thought of as reasonably well informed, and each and every one of them suffers from a misunderstanding of the debt ceiling, essentially variations on how “the debt ceiling” is the same as “the debt” and raising the debt ceiling means you are taking on more debt (this at a time when the deficit is falling like a rock)

So let me see if I can explain how this works without using a credit card or dumbing it down.

So every time congress passes a law, it is possible, that it will cost the Govt. Money (from Medicare benefits to appropriations that allow the NSA to read this as I type it) many, many laws have the effect of driving up spending from govt.

Now when the govt needs to spend money to meet its legislative obligations (this is the key part though IT IS NOT OPTIONAL, TREASURY HAS TO MEET THE OBLIGATIONS THAT LAWS PASSED BY CONGRESS CAUSE) it asks the treasury to “make it so”

Now this is where the fun( Editor’s Note: we apologize for this particular usage of the word fun , the author does not get out much) starts, because treasury you see needs to borrow money to pay for the laws passed, and in just about every other country on the planet this is not an issue, if the legislative branch of govt passes a law requiring govt. to spend 100 bucks Treasury can just borrow a 100 bucks to pay for it; since passing the law is TANTAMOUNT TO SAYING YOU FRIGGIN HAVE TO (repeat after me) HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!!!!

But this America land of the exceptional home of the dysfunctional and so naturally we do things differently here (yes that’s right the switch turns on the other way too).

Here we have a limit of how much treasury can borrow to pay for laws already passed and this limit is called (thank you, thank you) “The Debt Ceiling”.

So every time this limit is reached , treasury has zero interest in borrowing more money, however congress just keeps plugging away and working hard (well not this congress obviously but you know in the past) and the bills keep piling up , which of course means treasury now needs to borrow more money but it can’t … BY LAW !!

Therefore from time to time  treasury will ask congress to pass a law saying something along the lines of

“you know how we said you could only borrow 1000 dollars, just kidding you can borrow up to 2000 now, since you know we passed laws requiring the additional money”.

This clever piece of legislation is known as “Raising the debt ceiling” (pay attention now, it’s not raising the debt, that already happened)

In the past, prior to the tea party metastasizing into the cancer that it has become, congress would always raise the debt ceiling (once again if you are upset about govt spending then the correct time to have that argument is when laws are being passed that incur spending) without too much fuss because everyone understood how the debt ceiling actually works.

But all that of course was before the stupid wing of the stupid party suddenly decided that “debt ceiling” was two words, and that was just too hard, one word at a time as Jesus always said (or would have if he thought about it) so let’s just stick with “Debt” and why on earth would we want to “Raise the Debt” (ceiling omitted™ )

Hopefully you now understand this little piece of governmental trivia (explanation via analogy pending)

 

Todd Starnes is an asswipe and that’s OK

There is a parallel universe (in the sense however that it is the same one as mine) where beauty Pageant type things keep happening with monotonous regularity (and hilarity). For those (who rightfully) have no clue about this world,  recently someone called Nina Davuluri  won the Miss America thingy and a bunch of Americans got to show the world  why

• Twitter will never make any money
• they should never breed and produce offspring
• how cruel evolution is
• why geography and fiction are interchangeable in the minds of many
• some idiots think how Ms. Davuluri is not “American” enough

Todd Starnes  (some sort of moron on fox in some way) on the other hand is unlikely to be as completely ignorant . And predictably Indians hither and thither have all gone on and on about how ghastly racist and self-centered and ignorant the Americans are.

At this point we take a little detour in my tale before I may end up making a point (Editor’s Note: You don't get paid unless you make a point, you do know that yes)

So way back in 2002 ( ish )  I was in  a meeting at MSFT. Present were about 7 to 10 people and like many meetings at MSFT they were all Indians.

So naturally this struck me as funny, and I cleverly made some spectacularly witty quip ( as I often do ) about everyone being an Indian . After the laughter and applause died down, one of the people in the meeting cleared her throat and with considerable vim and vigour pointed out the she was an American, thank you very much!!!! (I think she was born in jersey and yes even though snookie has ruined it all, to be fair yes jersey is technically American)

<Back to the present now yes, yes almost certain to make a point now >

As such the story has no meaning to it (one person did not find something I said funny, it’s not like I am keeping score or anything hahaha) on the other hand it has always stuck with me and even though I am hardly the first person to realize and point this out, all it means to be an American is to want it and say it . That's it!!! (ok fine immigration will get involved once in a while, yes ok more than once in a while, yes fine a lot !!  ) which if you think about is just amazing. I am not aware of any other country where this happens. You can stay in India as long as you want as a white person but you will be gently laughed of the stage (while some kindly stranger calls the local asylum) if you start insisting you are Indian.
I am fairly certain my chances of being Japanese or Chinese or Papua New Guinean are slim to none irrespective of how long I stay there or how much I integrate into their societies . Every once in a while it behooves us to marvel at this sociological thing this amazing amazing fact of life about the US.

Nina Davuluri would be hard pressed to be Miss <insert country here > anywhere except the US. It could happen once in a while I suppose but in this case I am genuinely not surprised, Ms. Davuluri is an American and she convinced some people she was best qualified for a competition. That's all there is to it.

Rather than bemoan the twitter chatter from people clearly stuck in Darwin’s waiting room we should be really happy that here in this country something like this is possible. I have zero interest in pageants and yet I find this pretty uplifting all in all

As for Mr.  Starnes and his ilk, ironically by insisting there is an archetype for “Americans” (cough Christian and white ), they are in fact being the very thing the oppose viz completely Un American

Besides this is nothing new, a 100 odd years ago people like him were screaming “the Irish need not apply” or “who wants these damn Italians” and so on and so forth. Asswipes will be around forever and you know what that’s ok asses need wiping after all !

MBA Case Study Part Deux

Last time we dealt with some excellent issues around risk arbitrage . This time lets us move on to the wonderful topic of interpersonal relationships

 

You have just been promoted to manager of a fairly non prestigious product unit. (Your parents still seem to think you would have been better served by joining the IAS ). In your first staff meeting you conclude that two members on your team ( P and K ( A,B were taken ) ) have the following issues ; P is stupid, K only asks stupid Questions.

Please answer the following questions ( Note to students : The twitter text restriction is currently not in effect )

1. In the event  of a natural disaster which team member would you assign the job of calling Emergency Services.
2. If you had no choice in the matter who would you rather  harass sexually
3. What would you do of you had a choice !
4. Predict what will happen if K asks P a question
5. Take a moment to reflect on the futility of your life
6. Why did you not join the IAS
7. Which would you prefer Promoting P and listening to K’s questions about it or Promoting K and listening to his questions about it . Consider your answer  in the context of your own recent promotion
8. Who in your opinion is better suited to star in Thicke’s next video ( provide your answerer as an anime )
9. You and Miley Cyrus are both homo sapiens sapiens . How would you explain that to P. How does it make you feel

Steve and I

 

So I read some place on the internet  recently that Steve Ballmer has left Microsoft. I have to say I was a little surprised , not to mention everything that is being said about him , gosh I mean its a lot

My first memory of Steve was over a decade ago , like 13 years in fact, it was around 7 in the evening and it was a gorgeous Seattle summer evening and in the distance I could see him trying very hard to play basketball. It was obvious he totally sucked and so I tried to help him out with a few pointers but the flaw in that plan of course was that I sucked too and so you know it didn't really go anywhere but even back then I was stuck by his steely resolve and never say die attitude.

After the game we stopped at the local dive bar to share a drink and even then I was impressed at his ability to simplify and yet have deep insights. I will never forget as he looked at his plate and sighed “How do you tell the difference between calamari and pig rectum answer me that “

Definitely a sign of thing to come !

The next time I saw him was almost an year later at a Halloween Party where he had come as the ghost of stack ranking. I didn't get it then and I don't get it now but again his infectious energy and ability to throw chairs across the room while screaming “developer developers developers” was truly whimsical charming and magically surreal  . Turned out he was testing a spot for a viral campaign but the Seattle Urban developers League but still…

As an aside I left MSFT in 2006 and one of my definite regrets is that I did not stop by to say bye to him,  I was sure he would be leaving too and well while it took him 7 years to figure out what I had about MSFT ( he always was a little slow ) at least he got it in the end . There have been some rumors about how his exit allowed to him to reach a compensation model somewhat different than mine but I mean come on this was never about the money for either me or Steve ( Editors Note : Wait What now !)

Entrepreneur, thought leader, visionary, forward thinking genius, manger extraordinaire , Numbers man etc are all phrases ( some of which have even been used to describe Steve) but for me everything about the man could be distilled and boiled down to a single moment when I really think the very essence of his being shone through , We were at a Strip club in Lake City way celebrating a product launch and he said to me

< Editors Note : On Close examination of the facts and recollections in this article it has just emerged that the author has been talking about Steve KxrczxBallmer  a polish Lithuanian émigré from Estonia in the late 1990’s. Mr KxrczxBallmer  has confirmed that the “Kxrczx” portion of his name is silent and not pronounced. We regret any inadvertent confusion this may have caused and continue to stand by our original position viz. the author is an overpaid idiot .>

There is no way this happened randomly

One of the things I hear often re the universe , creation et al is the standard “There is no way this happened randomly just look around you man LOOK I SAY ! fractal clouds and cauliflower florets”

Which is all well and good and I am not going to debate the god superstition here however sometimes  its nice to look at the power of random( warning some minimal math and coding involved but you should be able to skip and skill get the flavour of what I am saying ) Editors Note Yeah Maybe

So let us start with a triangle . You know the things that aren’t squares rectangles or circles or anything other than triangles. So we have something like this

                            A

B C

 

Cool Eh !

Now assume there is a point far far way somewhere in the universe . Now roll a perfectly fair die. Here is what we are going to do .

If the die shows up a 1 or a 2 we are going to pick a point halfway between the original point and A and color the midway point blue

if the dice is 3 or 4 then pick halfway between the current point and B and color it red

if the dice is 5 or 6 then pick halfway between the current point and C and color it green

Please note that the numbers on the dice are not relevant All we are doing is randomly picking one number from 3 where all 3 numbers are equally probable to occur in our random picking.

With me So far?

So lets say we rolled a 1 a 3 and a 6. After 3 attempts our triangle with dots ( in  G minor :-) ) now looks something like

AS the avid and observant readers will have figured out by now : you keep rolling the dice and the colours just randomly start filling up the triangle . On obvious point to note is that once a dot lands inside the triangle all further dots will lie inside the triangle too.There is nothing clever about this , since we are always computing half way point to each edge point we stay within the boundary of the triangle

 

So at his point we have this really clever way of randomly dumping dots on a triangle and really you can get any kid with a crayon and paper ( or wall ) to do this

 

But lets say we run this process a million times ( computers are pretty good at that source code later ). SO a million dots of the primary colours randomly placed over the screen. What do we expect the resultant picture to look like? Anyone?

Well my guess was this amorphous blob of black or gray or maybe even some weird mixing of colours or whatever but definitely almost no structure . And if we ran the program again well this time would get totally different dots of course so like some other random scribbling

 

 

I’ll spare you the suspense . HERE IS WHAT YOU GET EVERY SINGLE TIME NO MATTER THE ORDER OF THE DOTS

 

PRETTY EFFING COOL EH!

Pseudo code in the link…

 

Finally if you have more than a passing knowledge of the math needed to understand Fractals or affine transforms or IFS etc and you know who Michael Barnsley is please spare me everything that is wrong with my simplified explanation :-)

IT still always gets me all excited when a random dice roll can get us this . Maybe this is what the rest of the world is talking about when they talk about a “spiritual experience “

SIERPINSKI YEH TUNE KYA KI

 

OH YEAH!

You can generate this in code really easily

Start with a type

internal class VInfo
    {
        public int x;
        public int y;
        public Color c;
    }

int width = 2000;
int height = 1000;

Initialize thusly

Veritices[0].x = width / 2;
Veritices[0].y = 0;
  Veritices[0].c = Colors.Blue;
  

Veritices[1].x = 0;
Veritices[1].y = height;
  Veritices[1].c = Colors.Red;
  

Veritices[2].x = width;
Veritices[2].y = height;
  Veritices[2].c = Colors.Green;

So at this point you have the triangle set up right .

Now just run  a loop somewhere like so

Random r = new Random();
            Random InitPoint = new Random();
            VInfo pCurrent = new VInfo();
            pCurrent.x = InitPoint.Next(1000);
            pCurrent.y = InitPoint.Next(1000);

for (int i = 0; i < 10000000; i++ )
            {
                int p = r.Next() % 3;

                pCurrent.x = (pCurrent.x + Veritices[p].x) / 2;
                pCurrent.y = (pCurrent.y + Veritices[p].y) / 2;
                setpixel( bits,pCurrent.x,pCurrent.y,Veritices[p].c);

            }

So all you are doing  is getting a random point computing the halfway point between the random point and the vertices you need to and setting the pixel to that colour  AND…. repeat

Its really quite amazing how this simple random process can generate that image…

But But they are stealing my hard earned money

 

This whole notion of how taxation equals theft and you know “hard earned money” just drives me nuts. IT IS NOT THEFT TO PAY YOUR TAXES

Libertarians love to drool on and on about you know contract law etc, well here's is the implied contract when you become a citizen of this country , YOU HAVE TO PAY TAXES, AND ELECTED LEGISLATORS GET TO DECIDE HOW MUCH THOSE TAXES ARE AND HOW THEY SPEND THAT MONEY

Your choices are

i) go to a jurisdiction that has no taxes, Dubai for example

ii) participate in the electoral process by electing people who agree with you in terms of tax rates and how your tax dollars should be spent

I happen to think that abstinence only education or creationism or the war on drugs or the war in Iraq  or no bid contracts to Halliburton or the house GOP spending money on defending DOMA or drug testing welfare recipients are all ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS, NO RETURN VALUE, ways to spend our money and so you wont find me in general voting for candidates or parties that support these positions

But it’s not theft. They did not steal my money . I would have to pay those taxes no matter what and you what I am just fine with that. That was the contract I signed on to when I got here , that I would pay taxes

Insisting that taxes are theft is like saying the cable company is stealing from me because you know I did not like every single hour of programming on every channel .

Just like you get to not like some programming you get to not like ( and or rant about )certain expenditures , AND you get to participate in whatever legal fashion you choose to change the laws so as to change govt. spending ( for example WA state just made weed legal , yes yes yes CO here’s looking at you too :-) ). But enough with the Theft bullshit already!

Morons !

Threnody A tale in three or more parts

Chapter 2 : Iran

 

The Story so far

Blonde Was amazed at the quality of Dawlish’s intel. How the hell had the old man figured out Iran. Security had been air tight . Who the hell could have talked ? Dawlish was droning on in the background about “procedural violations”  and “breaches in the code of conduct “.
Blonde took a deep breath, his legendary powers of concentration coming to the fore
“There is just one thing Home Secretary”
“Cant it wait 007 I am just moving to the alliterative crescendo of my denunciation now “
“Sadly no , I fear I have found the fatal flaw in your argument about Iran “
“Really” ? “Oh yes most certainly”, “Are you sure 007”.” I think so Dawlish” “Well I cant wait to hear it then” “I was never in Iran last year”
The phone rang , it was the Imperial March from Star wars of course. Blonde was mildly interested at the coincidence , it was his habit to play this at his flat just before he undressed for the ladies.
“M here, I see hmm are you sure , this has been verified. Very well ”
“Gentleman an international crisis of incredible proportions has arisen , I fear this review will have to wait , Blonde your country needs you again “
“Blonde!”
“BLONDE !!!!”
“Oh sorry chief I was thinking about the time when Princess Leia… er never mind”
“What is the crisis dear lady” Lord Dawlish croaked
M took a deep breath . “ 14 hours Samsung and PSY ( gangnam style) and some other unknown entities successfully lobbied the govt of South Korea to retaliate for the whole rectangular button thing. The Koreans have now copyrighted and patented the use of the word baby in a pop song.  While no confirmation exists there a strong rumor that the North Koreans are planning to retaliate  against South Korea for thinking of this first by copyrighting about 50% of all rap video finger gestures or all of sign language no one is sure which yet “
Blonde smiled his incredibly lazy languid  yet strangely attractive smile. “You find this funny 007” Lord D snapped angrily.
“Well clearly the North Koreans don’t understand what retaliation means now do they” Blonde chortled
“That may well be 007” M said “ but have you considered the scope of this tragedy, if the South Koreans win this lawsuit it will be the end of civilization as we know it !!!!”
“oh come now chief isn't that a little..”
“The end I say , have you seen the modifications to the Brittany Spears song , that the Koreans have proposed “
Oh “person aged less than 5” “person aged less than 5”
Oh “person aged less than 5” “person aged less than 5”
Oh “person aged less than 5” “person aged less than 5”
Oh “person aged less than 5” “person aged less than 5”
How was I supposed to know
That somethin' wasn't right here
Oh “person aged less than 5” “person aged less than 5”
I shouldn't have let you go
And now you're right out of sight yeah
Lord Dawlish staggered to pour himself a drink,  “Blonde you must fix this “
“How”
“M?”
M sighed “ He’s right you know 007 you need to fix this “
“Yes but How”
“The key of course is Apple , or samsung or PSY or the WTO hearing next week in Doha”
“Where do you think you should start ?”
Blonde thought hard and long
“I am going to start in Brazil” he announced
“But but but …”
“Precisely Lord D , you are smarter than I thought , it is about butts after all “ I am a guest judge at the http://www.missbumbumbrasil.com.br/candidatas/


Next Time “ Brazil”